I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
