How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
