i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
