What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I am naked and annoyed.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
