New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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