woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
