I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think my vagina is haunted
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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