You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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