saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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