Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
