peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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