I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Everclear isn't food dammit
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
