is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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