Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
