Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
