The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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