i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
