I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
