How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just cropdusted the office
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
