The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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