I just made out with a guy for $7.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
