hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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