did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
