You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
