reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
