my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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