Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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