I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
