After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
