i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
