I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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