she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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