so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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