what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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