She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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