if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i believe in u and ur pee
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
