guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
