dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
