her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
