I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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