My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
