i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
