he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
