I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
