OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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