Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
