It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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