Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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