would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
