I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
