So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
