Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
