I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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