READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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